Ask the stars of Cause of Death!
by somewhat-strange xx
Summary: Why does Kai have long hair? How come Mal hasn't manned up and confessed his undying love to Natara? What is Maria's favourite Milkshake? Find out here! Ugh, this sounds like a cheap commercial. What it says on the tin, you can ask the CoD characters anything! Even dead ones! Just another idea I had, Rated M 'cause you can ask whatever you want in the reviews. Hope you likey!
1. Chapter 1: Intro

**Hi! I'm really sorry, cuz i've like dissapeared for a while and all, I've had really, really bad writers block for 'Watch me Daddy, while I grow', but I'm working on it! Anyways, I got this really cool idea for a sorta Fanfiction! You all love the side stories and premium content where it tells you all about the charcters? (Lets presume you've all said yeah), well ...**

**Dah DaDah Dahh! Here is: "Ask the Stars of Cause of Death!"**

**Boom baby!**

**So yeah, it's basically, in your reviews you can ask questions to the characters, like, anything, even really gross stuff, and you can even ask dead characters (KEN!), and they'll answer every question. It WILL be a multi chapter story, don't worry. I probably wont get the characters spot on, but i'll do my best! Hopefully this'll be good and not a flop. Oh, and lemme know what you think about this, idea, you would call it.**

**Anyways, thats about it! BYE! xx**

**-Kyanna**


	2. Chapter 2: Begin

**Hello! So, here I am with my first Chapter of "Ask the stars of CoD", so, lets just begin. And yes, it's in script form, cuz I dunno how else to put it. Oh, and I some shocking news.**

**My best friend came over to my house, and I introduced her to CoD, we began to play volume 1, and she said Mal (Yes, MAL) was ugly! WTF? I wanted to kill her right there. **

**But she said Diego was hot. Wha?**

**That is all.**

**(In some random room, with me and the cast of CoD)**

**Me: **Hey look, i'm in my own Fanfiction, how cool!

**Kai: **That was exactly how I felt when I made myself as a long lost Cullen relative in my Twilight FanFic!

**Mal: **How did I get here? And ... Kai? You like Twilight?

**(The entire cast except for Kai erupts into laughter)**

**Me: **Sparkle! Sparkle!

**Kai: **Whats wrong with Twilight? And for the record I was half vampire half Zombie!

**Me: **Did you sparkle?

**Natara: **Uum, what's with all the sparkling? Can we get on with this please?

**Me: **Oh, sorry. Uuh, Blaise, Why did you sleep with Jeremy? Do you actually like him or is he just a substitute for Mal, so you can 'Blow off steam'?

**(Blaise blushes, her cheeks turning a light Sakura pink, Jeremy stares at her in confusion, then to Mal, then back to Blaise. She stares at the ground)**

**Natara: **Wait ... you slept with Jeremy?

**Blaise: **Uhh .. well, I'm gonna be upfront about it. Honestly, that wasn't the reason, well, in a way it was,

**(Natara frowns at the idea of Mal being 'in love with somebody')**

**Natara: **Wait, who does Mal love?

**Kai: **Oh, my fine FED. So intelligent, such a know it all, but yet so oblivious.

**Me: **Kai, your gonna spoil the plot. Oh, and there's a question for you. Kai: What types of things do you write about on Fanfiction?

**(Both me and Kai smile like Cheshire cats at the word)**

**Kai: **Well, as you know, I write Twilight Fanfiction, uhh, Harry Potter, My little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mario, High School Musical, don't judge me! There's Pokemon, Hetalia, Spiderman, Sailor Moon, Naruto, and of course,my favourite, my Fanfics for "Rise of the Maskmaker" (Basically his Maltara Fanfics). So yeah.

**Amy: **My little Pony, why am I not suprised? But, Pinky Pie is pretty adorable!

**Kai: **Nu-uh! Rainbow Dash is totally fricking badass!

**Amy: **Pu-lease, Kai! Pinky Pie can transform from skrillex into her usually frizzy haired self in six seconds!

**Me: **Moving on! Uhh, Natara? This is an extremely awkward question ...

**Natara: **Oh no, not the unicorn again. That was years ago!

**Me: **No, but, uhh... why are you marrying Oscar to Spite Mal?

**(Mal raises an eyebrow at this, and Oscar shoots him a death glare, Mal just simply gives Oscar a "Bitch Please" look)**

**Natara: **Well... . The mind assumes things before we know all the facts, and in this case, I did. I heard Mal and Blaise over the phone and assumed they were together, and, Mal, being , and I quote "This handsome and charming", I guess I got a little jealous. But, I'm perfectly happy with Oscar, infact more than happy, I'm ecstatic.

**(Natara smiles at Oscar, and the two share a ridiculously short kiss, almost as if accidental. Mal's smile dissapears, and the shine in his eyes dissapears, only for a moment, which I manage to catch, like when you try to pause a disney movie so you can see a subliminal message. I lean over to him, whispering in his ear)**

**Me: **Aww, you want to hire a hitman so he'll be dead? I know most people do ... Anyways, Nat, another question, When you have sex with Oscar, do you think of Mal?

**Natara: **... Once.

**Mal: **(Thoughts: ) Wow.

**Natara: **It was just, the night when I said yes to Oscar. I just, the idea, of Mal and Blaise, and, them, you know ... I couldn't get it out of my head.

**Kai: **Can I watch you two loverbirds next time you have some fun ...

**Me, Natara, Oscar, and Mal: **NO!

**Kai: **Oh. Aww.

**Me: **Well ... Amy?

**Amy: **Hiiii!

**Me: **What was your first kiss like with, Ken?

**Amy: **Oh, it was wonderful! It felt like there was a little hyperactive Kai running round my stomache and ...

**Kai: **Nice.

**Amy: **... and I just felt so happy and, this is true,I actually felt like I was a disney Princess,don't laugh , and ... I, I really miss him. Alot. I wanna know how he's doing, and, what he's thinking about, and, if he's thinking about me.

**Me: **Well, that's depressing. Uhh, Mal, What would you be if you weren't a detective?

**Mal: **Uhh, I'd probably be .. a, a , I don't know, Coaching Football or something?

**Nat: **Heh. Coach Fallon. Nah, you should be a drill sargeant. I'd reccon you'd make a good one.

**Me: **Okay then, that's it for now. Bye!

**Okay, anyone who gets the movie reference in there can have ... something. The cute cat thing Amy got in the interlude, that! I think there's a pic of it on the CoD facebook page.**

**Okay, so that's it, well, for now. Byee!**


	3. Chapter 3: Continue

**Hello! Hee-hee, didn't expect to get such a great reaction! Thanks, guys! Anyways, i'm just gonna get straight on with it! For the record, this is set before the whole Wedding Drama, so the next Chapter will be set afterwards.**

**(Inside another room, yet again, with me and the cast, yipee!)**

**Me: **Yay, i'm back! And, uhh, i'm gonna ask Blaise something.

**(I lean over and whisper in her ear)**

**Me: **Do you still have feelings for Mal?

**(Blaise spends a moment thinking about it, before leaning back in my ear and whispering)**

**Blaise: **... maybe a little.

**Me: **Anyways, lets begin! Natara: Why did you choose Oscar over Mal when he practically risked everything to save your life at the end of the Mad Stranger investigation?

**Natara: **Well, he's risked his life more than once for me, as have I, I mean, were partners, and thats what partners do, right Mal?

**Mal: **... yeah. Of course.

**Kai: **suuuuurrrrre.

**Natara: **And, besides, Mal dosen't like me.

**Me: **mmm-hmmm. Tell that to the fangirls. Uhh, never mind. Mal, honey?

**Mal: **Yep. And, uh, don't call me that.

**Me: **Sorry. Why did you have Sex with Selene?

**Mal: **Uhhh, I felt like it?

**Me: **Well then, that was a straight forward enough answer. Moving on, (through gritted teeth) Oscar.

**Oscar: **Yes?

**Me: **Do you love yourself?

**Oscar: **Well, yes, I suppose, never really thought about it. Whats not to love?

**Mal: **(thoughts: everything)

**Blaise: **(thoughts: the fact your a shmuck.)

**Kai: **(thoughts: You get in the way of Maltara.)

**Jeremy: **(Thoughts: I barely know you but I dont love your arrogance.)

**Me: **Oh, the irony. Jeremy, sweetie?

**Jeremy: **uh-huh?

**Me: **What is your Totem animal?

**Jeremy: **The Deer. Period.

**Me: **Now that ou've slept together, how do you think things have changed, Blaise?

**Blaise: **We actually talk alot more, like, not just at work but, in our own time.

**Me: **Santos.

**Oscar: **Si?

**Me: **Oooh, tough guy, are we, chicha? ¿Qué piensas del Mal?

**Oscar: **Well, he's okay, I suppose. Not the sorta guy i'd usually get along with, I'll admit, but I suppose you should never judge a book by it's cover.

**Me: **Thought so. Kai?

**Kai: **Oh, hey, Kyanna! You seen the Trailer for Seasons (Squeals)?

**Me: **Yup! Anywas, do you have any brothers or sisters?

**Kai:** Well, maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe I have a brother who's under witness protection and I can't mention. Maybe not. Maybe I have a sister who I don't like to talk about because she prefers Minecraft to the Sims. Maybe not.

**Me: **I was not expecting that ... I'm guessing we already know the answer to the next question: He's shy. Uhh, Ponygirl?

**Natara: **huh?

**Me: **(giggling) you responded! Uh, How come you havent spoken about what happened at the couples retreat?

**Natara: **Gosh, what's with all the 'why didn't ou/how come you blababa Mal' questions? And besides, it was just to cover up. That's all it was.

**Me: **There's another questions for you. Do ou honestly think you'll make it down the aisle?

**Natara: **One can only hope.

**Me: **Uhh, oh. Oh my. Hee-hee. Mal?

**Mal: **Yeah?

**Me: **Airplane sex. Please elaborate.

(Laughter erupts, of course)

**Mal: **Well, I personally think that there is nothing wrong with it, especially if you, uh, are on a longhaul flight and suffer from extreme, boredom. You have just, and this is the number one rule, you must, lock the door. In case, say, a child, needs to go to the bathroom.

**Me: **Okay, Blaise again, do you think your relationship with Jeremy will go very far?

**Blaise:** There was never a relationship to begin with, okay? It's basically sex. That's it.

**Me: **Ok then, Malachi ...

**Mal: **Yup?

**Me: **Check your Phone.

(Mal checks his phone to recieve a text from yours truly 'WHY U NO TELL NATARA HOW U FEEL?!', I recieve a text back saying 'she's with Oscar.')

**Me: **You know, for such a short text, you sure did take long. And I didn't get no kisses. Natara, can you please tell me, PLEASE, why your marrying Oscar when you love Mal?

**Oscar: **What?

**Natara: **(Who, by the way, is blushing a little, aww) Who said anything about me loving Mal? I love Oscar and that's why I'm marrying him, if I loved Mal, I'd have told him earlier.

**Me: **Heh. Lies. Sorry, but i'm tired, and I wanna go play Chapter eight again so i'm gonna end here.

**Oh, and this won't probably be the story I focus on the most, because I haven't updated 'Watch me Daddy, while I grow' in AGES, which i'm really sorry for. But, I fractured my wrist, so it really hurt when I wrote, and then I had a life threatening case of Writers block, but thank you for all the reviews 3, and I'm going to update the other story soon. Byee! xxx**

**-Kyanna **


	4. Chapter 4!

**Heyy! Thank you all so much for your really sweet reviews, and thank you Jacey for being really awesome and a little creepy, but for the record, I love my little Pony. **

* * *

(Once again, we're in a room together, although I happen to be carrying some sort of magic wand ...)

**ME: **Holy poop your never gonna guess whats gonna happen?

**Kai: **They're making a movie of one of my fanfictions?

**Me: **Uhh ... no. Just watch and you'll see. And, please hesitate from bawling your eyes out of happiness as well as showing your love and affection for me. Whoosh!

(Uses magic Wand to ressurect Detecive Ken Greene (Rejoice!))

**Mal: **Is that?

**Natara: **This cant be right.

**Jeremy: **Who's this?

**Blaise: **That's ...

**Kai: **NOOOOO! IT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

**Amy: **Is it really? ...

**Ken: **Hot Damn!

**Amy: **Ken!

(Amy runs over to Ken and one of those cliche picking the woman up and twirling her round moments happens)

**Kai: **This is just like the Trailer to Titanic two!

**Me: **(Clearly Irritated) Yeah, your welcome and all that jazz. Maybe I should just use my wand thingy to kill off another character, huh?

**Everyone (Including myself): **(In unison) THANK YOU KYANNA!

**Me: **Awwwwww. This is Adorable. And overly Cliche. Like Kai's Fanfics.

**Kai: **My Fanfics are not Cliche! Ken just said Hot Damn!

**Me: **What about the ice sword? And the motorcycle? And the soon to come explosions? Anyways, lets begin. Oh, there's two questions for me. Am I allowed to (basically) bring back Criminals from the dead and ask them questions?

**Everyone: **NO!

**Me: **Yeah, sure. What? Hakuna Matata. I got my magic wand thingy. And, will I update soon. There you go. Anyways, Kai! Why are you obsessed with the Sims?

**Kai: **Okay, it's not the Sims alone, it's the Sims 1, 2, and 3, as well as the Sims Medieval, and Simcity. And I'm obsessed because they're awesome. You can explode stuff without doing real damage, and you can get zombie's. It's like life, but better. And you get chicks alot easier.

**Me: **Next question. Natara? Who do you call your best friend.

**Natara: **Mal, of course. He's my best friend, and I'm his, I hope.

**Me: **I guessed that, and hee-hee, hopefully not for long! Blaise?

**Blaise: **What?

**Me: **Do you like shooting people?

**Blaise: **Depends on the person. If it's someone as annoying as Mayor Holland, if he was a criminal of course, then yes. If it's someone innocent who dosent annoy me, then no.

**Me: **Ooh, magic wand thingy time! Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo! Now Natara cannot hear. Malachi? Why do you love Natara?

**Mal: **Uhhhhhhhh, oh, uhh, um, well, uhh, she, she's pretty, there's that. She's, uh, beautiful infact, and, well, she's all psychic on people, and strong, she's been, been through so much in the past two years. She's got good taste in food. Uhh, I can't really, um, well think of much more to say, well. Has someone got any water, I'm warm.

**Me: **AWWWWWW. He's shy. Oh, Whoosh!

**Natara: ** What just happened?

**Me: **Kenneth, or as Mal once called you, The great Kennoni.

**Ken: **Mal, seriously, the great Kennoni?

**Natara: **Oh, I remember that! That was after you got shot when you we're asleep!

**Me: **Anyways, why do you always say Damn?

**Ken: **Uhh, Do I? I don't think I really say Damn that much? Do I?

**Blaise: **Yeah, you do.

**Ken: **Oh. I dunno.

**Me: **Never mind at least I finally got a chance to bring you to li-i-ife! Amy, what's the most romantic thing Ken ever did for you?

**Amy: **Well, there was one time, I shouldn't mention it, I promised i'd take it to the grave, but there was when he took me to this really fancy resteraunt, or maybe just when we stayed in all day watching romantic comedy's, he was soooooo sweet, i'd been crying from pearl harbour and he was doing everything in his way to cheer me up.

**Me: **It's so fluffy! Why did he have to die? CURSE YOU EA!

**Kai: **EA? What about it?

**Me: **Uhhhhh, never mind. Ameee, did you ever,uhhh ... do it, with Ken I mean?

**Amy: **Well ... no. We never got to that, and we never will.

**Me: **Amy, he's alive.

**Amy: **Oh.

**Me: **Blaise and Jeremy, do you have feelings for each other?

**Blaise/Jeremy: **NO!

**Blaise: **I, uh, I mean, no, no we don't, we're both happy as it is.

**Jeremy: **Yes. Completely content.

**Me: **OOOOOOH, dare time!

**Kai: **Woo-hoo! YES!

**Mal: **Kai, it's not that big a deal.

**Kai: **_Your _not a very big deal!

**Me: **Natara, I, well actually 'Angel' dares you to slap Oscar, like, really hard.

**Natara: **Why on Earth would I want to do that?

**Me: **... He, uh ... Cheated on you! That's it!

**Natara: **Wait, what? Really?

**Mal: **Oh, just you wait until I get my hands on that Greasy haired SOB!

**Me: (In a sort of -_- style) **He's across the room.

**(Wooosh! Big Chaos! Fighting!)**

**Me: **Uhh, someone should get Mal off of Oscar, as much as it pains me to say it.

**Ken: **I'll do it.

**(Once Ken manages to pry Mal (the Sweetie) off of Oscar, Natara backhands him, hard, across the face, creating a big *SLAP* sound and an even bigger red handmark on poor Oscars face)**

**Me: **You do realise I was joking? Right?

**(:O)**

**Me: **Okay, second dare, (Gasp) HOLY POOP I LOVE YOU3Angel. Mal?

**Mal: **Yuh-huh?

**Me: **I, and the rest of the Universe who know who you are (Play CoD), dare you to ... Duh-dadadada-dadada-DAH! Kiss, Natara. (Hence the squealing of the fangirls, including me)

**Mal: **Really? That's my dare?

**Natara: **Oh. Uh. Well...

**Mal: **Uhh ...

**(Mal slowly, and awkwardly, walks over to where Natara is sat, Natara spins around in her seat, Kai grabbing his Camera.)**

**Natara: **Well, I guess we should just get this over with.

**Mal: **Yeah.

**Natara: ** It'll just be a quick peck. Uhh

**(They both slowly lean in to each other, bit by stop, gradually, stopping every few seconds, and wondering who should go first, before finally making it and pressing there lips together softly, and continuing to do so)**

**Me: **Oh, this is awesome.

**(They actually stay like this for the next two minutes)**

**Blaise: **Okay, break it up, you two.

**(Maltara listen and break apart)**

**Natara: **How long we're we? ...

**Me: **Two minutes and thirteen, no seventeen seconds. Eighteen.

**Mal: **Well, it's over with now, out of the way.

**Me: **You enjoyed it! Anyways, Natara, whats your favourite horse breed?

**Natara: **The Morgan. I used to have one when I was nine, Berry.

**Mal: **You named your horse Berry?

**Natara: **Well, to be honest, his full name was SparkleBerry, but we called him Berry.

**Mal: **Oh, I get yah. The sparkle makes it so much more of a common name for a horse.

**Natara: **Oh, shut up, Mal. Yeah, and they're just such beautiful creatures, they walk really elegantly, and they're so cute.

**Me: **Okay, Kai? Fave food?

**Kai: **Prime country goose, ala provencale, stuffed with chestnuts, and basted in white wine. Either that, or Pie. The British Kind. Cheese and Onion.

**Me: **Big difference there. Amy, if you could travel back to any time period, what would it be?

**Amy: **Oh, I've always wanted to go back to Ancient Greece so I can wear them really long Toga's and worship the Gods and eat grapes!

**Me: **Okay ... Mal! If you had kids what would you name the,?

**Mal: **Jeez, no need to shout. Well, me and Sandra discussed this when we were thinking about having a baby, until she became infertile, and I like, for a boy, Finley, and for a girl, Sadie.

**Me: **Awww, there cute, but unusual, but not too unusual, like that celeb who named her kid apple. But still cute. Natara? If you had to choose between Mal and Oscar in a life or death situation, who would it be?

**Natara: **What? No, wait, what? Really? I, uh, I ...

...

...

(Crickets chirping)

...

...

I can't choose!

(Storms off out of the room)

**Me: **It's you Mal, she just dosen't wanna say in front of Oscar.

**Oscar: **That's not specifically true!

**Me: **Did I say you could talk, Chica? Now, Chica, If Nat chose Mal over you, would you let them be happy?

**Oscar: **What else could I do?

**Me: **Go on a crazy serial killing rampage, kidnap either Mal or Natara, holding them at gunpoint, and end up being brutally murdered?

**Oscar: **I hope not. Anyways, Yes, I would let them be happy.

**Me: **Best thing you've said all day. Anyways, I'm gonna let everyone go, so Mal can sort out Natara, with her angsty dissapearance, which will lead to a fluffy Maltara moment, and byee!

* * *

**Hope you liked it! Bye!**

**-Kyanna xx**


End file.
